Being a Hot Mess Mama is a Cop Out

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It’s time for a mom-rant…

Maybe I’ve seen one too many “hot mess mama” memes on Instagram, but it’s time for me to speak out on the idea that being a hot mess mama is your only fate if you are a mother.

This is an easy thing to accept, especially when:

  1. It’s plastered all over social media.
  2. You don’t know any real-life mothers who are out there killing it.
  3. You’ve tried so many times to get it together.
  4. You have no one cheering you on and encouraging you.

The logical conclusion is…If you are a mother, your hopes, dreams, and desires are all on the back-burner for the next 18 years, along with your personal hygiene, the cleanliness of your home, and the fulfillment in your life.

But NO! That’s the WORST conclusion!

It’s time to redefine motherhood, because we are all walking around with our own definition, whether consciously or not…

There are a few common thought traps that I see Moms fall into over and over again…

  • If I’m a Mom, my home can’t be clean
  • If I want my home to be clean, I have to do it ALL myself
  • If I make my children do chores, I’m STEALING their childhood
  • My children will NOT do chores, there’s nothing I can do to change that
  • Even if I do get my house clean, there’s not way to KEEP it that way
  • Not showering and being presentable has NOTHING to do with the state of my home
  • This is just the way motherhood is, and trying to do better is futile
  • NO ONE is able to keep a clean home, have children doing chores, and look cute all at the same time

There is not one shred of truth in ANY of those thought-traps. Every single one of them is a lie. I hate to say it, but if you have accepted any of them as truth, you’ve been duped.

Want to learn how to be in Survival Mode and STILL keep your home running?!

But really, if we go ahead and redefine the word “Mother” as an accomplished, large-and-in-charge, capable, organized MASTER of the domestic sphere…that kind of changes things, doesn’t it?

Why? Because…

  1. You are thinking about yourself as an authority, and in a positive light, instead of in a defeatist mentality 👍
  2. You have heard many times, no one knows your children better than you, right? It’s because it’s true. No one is as uniquely qualified to get those same children working towards the common goal of keeping the family home in order as you too. 😆
  3. You are capable of so much more than you give yourself credit for. It’s time to start expecting more from yourself (and your children), and then seeing the AMAZING results. ❤️

Getting your children involved in doing chores is a FANTASTIC way to teach, demonstrate, and prepare your children for a PRODUCTIVE and INDEPENDENT life as adults.

So why would anyone write off the single most powerful way to help their children be successful adults? Why would you write off chores, an organized home, and and a more engaging home environment just because you haven’t quite figured out how to make it all happen yet?

If I flip this script for a second, I’m going to say this….

The women who become MASTERS at running their homes, the women who go DEEP in understanding the benefits of a well-run home, and the importance of home management being a FAMILY activity, …those are the women that are going to enjoy their years of “in the trenches” motherhood instead of wish away the time and resent the decades they spent with young children.

Want to learn how to be in Survival Mode and STILL keep your home running?!

These are the greatest benefits I have seen to getting children on board with chores and treating the running of the home as a FAMILY JOB, not a MOM JOB…

1. Future Attitudes…
When you teach your sons to do chores and to actively contribute to the cleanliness of the household, you are actually teaching them how to treat the future woman in their lives…Do you want your sons viewing their spouse as unpaid house help? Set the standard today.

Likewise…you are teaching your daughters that they are NOT relegated to a future of servitude and being treating as nothing more than the maid, cook, chauffeur, etc. You are teaching her to expect MORE from her own husband and children.

2. Current Attitudes…

If you are currently being treated as the be-all end-all in your home…like if you want a clean house, then you’ll have to do it yourself. It’s time to STOP.

You are NOT the unpaid house help, you are the master of your domain, and it’s time to start acting that way. You deserve SO.MUCH.MORE.

But it’s NOT going to happen all by itself. Your children will NOT just wake up one morning and decide they’ve been taking you for granted and change. YOU must set the standard and require the change.

3. A Clean Home IS A Happy Home!

No, a clean home is not going to solve every one of your problems. However, you will be amazed at how much easier life’s challenges feel when you have a beautiful, organized space to come home to and recharge. The benefits of Home Sweet Home cannot be over-emphasized.

If your house does NOT feel like Home Sweet Home, the easiest thing in the world is just to buy into the Hot Mess Mom Mentality, and just give up!

If you aren’t interested in having more and in being better, then that really is what you should do. But I would like to gently suggest that you re-frame that attitude and start asking the question…

What do I need to do to get my own Home Sweet Home?

Maybe it’s time to study up and learn from someone who has accomplished just that, and then do it!

Want to learn how to be in Survival Mode and STILL keep your home running?!

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Ashley is committed to helping ALL Moms (working moms, stay at home moms, homeschooling moms, ADHD moms, and any other kind of Mom who wants a change!) realize and achieve a calm, peaceful, neat space that really feels like Home Sweet Home.